Friday, June 22, 2012

The Trip to Bountiful

Never let it be said that Mord Fiddle is not a helpful bear.

As many of you know already, Mittens has implemented a bounty system that pays enterprising Goons for podding persons on his enemies list.  For most Goons, the glory of podding one of the Beloved Leader's hated enemies would be reward enough.  However Mittens, being mindful that glory doesn't pay the bar bill or fit out that shiny new Tengu, is sweetening the reward for those minions who lay low his special enemies. 

Now, there are a lot of Goons who would love to join this parade of cash and glory.  Alas, the ratio of Goons to bounty targets means the competition for the honor of ganking one of them will be fairly fierce.  And, alas again, what with highsec being a slightly dangerous place for the undisguised Goon these days, the solo hunting and killing of an Enemy Of Mittens (EOM) can be problematic.  One is more likely to end up the poddee than the podder should one simply wander up from nullsec and start sniffing around Jade Constantine's neighborhood without some trusty Goon muscle at your back.

And at the end of the day, does an enterprising young Goon want to share the cash and glory from the kill with a bunch of trusty Goon muscle when he/she can keep all the cash and glory for him/her self?

No. Not so much.

On the other side of this fence we have the bounty targets.  While Mittens' setting a bounty on their collective heads could be construed as a negative, there is an upside to it as well:  Their deaths have been imbued with a non trivial cash value.  There are lowsec pirates who would sell their eye-patches and peg-legs in order to swagger about with an half-billion isk price on their heads.  Admittedly, the value can only be paid out to a Goon or to a member of one of their close highsec affiliates such as Goonwafie.  However the value is there if it can be extracted.

So, the Goons lining up to execute the bounty targets and claim Mittens' largess in cash and glory represent the demand side of a price equation.  And since the set of bounty targets control the supply side of the equation (I shall call it the Mittens Enemy Cartel) they can reap a financial windfall from their status as a member of Mittens' enemies list.  Thus, we have the foundation for a lucrative market that could benefit bounty hunter and bounty target alike. 

For a price, a bounty target can arrange to be "ambushed" and podded by an enterprising Goonswarm bounty hunter.  Now, this is a common practice among lowsec pirates and griefers, done using the in-game bounty system.  However with the Mittens' enemies list the financial rewards are much higher than the average Concord bounty;  and there are intangible rewards beyond cash for the Goon bounty hunter.  Thus the negotiated price for the opportunity to pod Jade Constantine (Jade being higher profile target within Goondom) should sell for more than the opportunity to off Mabrick (sorry Mab) even if the actual bounties offered for the two of them were the same.  Further, while Concord does not scrutinize poddings or the mail and convo logs of participants in poddings to prevent this sort of deal-making, Mittens surely will.  Thus, any consensual EOM poddings must look genuine. 

However, one essential element is required to make this a functional market:  Trust.

That's were I come in. I am willing to offer my services as an intermediary between bounty hunters and bounty targets seeking to arrange consensual EOM poddings.

If you are a Goon and have a target in mind, contact me via the Hyperspace Com Uplink listed at the top right of the page.  Provide me with your in-game name, the in-game name of your preferred victim, the in-game name of the toon that will execute the kill (if different from your own) and the price you are willing to pay for a consensual podding.

If you are a bounty target (or believe you are) looking to cash in on your new-found value to Goondom, contact me via the Hyperspace Com Uplink listed at the top right of the page.  Provide me with your in-game name and the minimum price you are willing to accept for a consensual podding.

When a match between bounty hunter and target has been made and a price agreed upon, the hunter will transfer the payment to me by a means I will communicate.  The podding will then be scheduled and the details communicated to the hunter.
  • If the podding goes off as planned, the payment will be forwarded to the target. 
  • If the target backs out, fails to make the agreed upon appointment, or accidentally gets him/herself podded prior to the appointment by another bounty hunter, the payment will be returned to the hunter in full.  
  • If the target makes the agreed-upon appointment but is podded by someone other than the hunter, the payment will be forwarded to the target in full unless deception on the targets part (a friendly gank, for example) is evident.  In such cases the payment will be returned to the hunter.
  • If the hunter backs out, or fails to make the agreed-upon appointment, the payment will be forwarded to the target in full. 
  • If both parties fail to make the agreed-upon appointment I will retain the payment.  It is perilous to waste my time. 

What happens in the Consensual EOM Podding program stays in the Consensual EOM Podding program.

For obvious reasons, participants should not contact each other or representatives of the Consensual EOM Podding program in game.  All information regarding participants in the Consensual EOM Podding program will be kept in strict confidence.  In game identities will not be communicated to either party except in a manner that minimizes the chances of their being explicitly identified as participants in the Consensual EOM Podding program.

4 comments:

  1. How does one learn who is on this list? Is it public somewhere?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. Who (twitch) you (twitch) callin' (twitch) crazy?

      Delete
  3. LOL OMG, a Mittens Exploit! Hilarious

    ReplyDelete