Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Victory Conditions

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

A few of you have emailed me to point out that I have not named the conditions under which I would accept Mittens' surrender.  Point well taken.  While Mittens initiated his war on the Eve blogosphere, a person of good conscience would not deny him a means to step back from hostilities and make amends with the blogging/podcasting community.

Well, I am nothing if not just and merciful. 

Therefore, I present you the terms and conditions Mittens must fulfill in order to assuage my righteous anger, put aside our current enmity, and end my ruthless attacks upon the abominable mound of facial hair clinging to the end of his chin:
  • Mittens will end all wars and hostile actions (both overt and covert)  being conducted against Eve bloggers and podcasters
  • Mittens will pay a generous reparation to those bloggers and podcasters against whom he and his alliance have conducted wars and hostile actions (both overt and covert)
  • A generous reparation payment to Mord Fiddle is not required (but it couldn't hurt)  
  • Mittens will issue a public apology to the Eve blogosphere for his attempted intimidation of that body
  • Mittens will shave off his chin pussy
  • Proof of chin pussy removal will be provided by sending Mord Fiddle a picture of Mittens' shaved visage alongside the dated front page of a major newspaper (or the Milwaukee Journal if no major newspaper is reasonably available)
In the event Mittens sees fit to accept these terms, which are both fair and merciful, I shall stand down and put the matter behind us.

Until then, follow your spirit, and upon this charge cry 'God for bloggers, New Eden and Saint Mord!'

Exeunt. Alarum, and chambers go off 


  1. So is all this basically a cunning stunt to cadge a signed picture of Mittens? Would you like it soft focus? In a frame?

    1. Lol. I'd prefer it promptly. This is an a limited time offer with an exploding deadline

  2. Saint Mord, now that's got a catchy ring to it. :)

  3. The Journal Sentinel? Methinks you're close to my corner of the cosmos.

    1. More likely Mittens. He spends his planet-side time in Wisconsin. I spend mine in DC.

  4. Ummm...he doesn't have an issue with the podcast community that I'm aware of. You think its maybe just you he has an issue with?

    1. According to Mittens he does - at least those podcasters who were unkind to him during the election and alliance panel goings on. See my earlier posts on the subject as well as a number of interviews with the gaming media.

  5. Podcasting community is shit.

    ISK (now defunct) and Bringing Solo Back are the only two good podcasts ever. And Shit on Kugu.